Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife