Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
It can also be a hat.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me