Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (714)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize http://tfl.nu/o5b5
  Replies (4) Good night (1761) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you. http://tfl.nu/6jll
  Replies (11) Good night (1847) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?

  (714): View more from California

  I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup? (714): I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive. http://tfl.nu/dqyc
  Replies (4) Good night (1663) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work. http://tfl.nu/rjuf
  Replies (9) Good night (2604) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats. http://tfl.nu/387j
  Replies (8) Good night (2223) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked. http://tfl.nu/xyq8
  Replies (7) Good night (1245) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.

  (1-714): View more from California

  YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you. (1-714): YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES http://tfl.nu/lgqs
  Replies (15) Good night (1963) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value. http://tfl.nu/r3cp
  Replies (16) Good night (580) Bad night (2769) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time. http://tfl.nu/xqih
  Replies (6) Good night (517) Bad night (1357) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock. http://tfl.nu/bwd8
  Replies (40) Good night (5250) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused. http://tfl.nu/3089
  Replies (14) Good night (2450) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead. http://tfl.nu/2k13
  Replies (7) Good night (1792) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?

  (714): View more from California

  Whatever it is you failed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean? (714): Whatever it is you failed http://tfl.nu/fjub
  Replies (10) Good night (842) Bad night (1774)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed? http://tfl.nu/o0fs
  Replies (11) Good night (617) Bad night (1630) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%. http://tfl.nu/ldbs
  Replies (7) Good night (1311) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt