Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.