Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.