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So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
no you cant smoke seaweed
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
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