Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Nevada (702)

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.

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  (702): we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey. http://tfl.nu/4jcm
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  It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????

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  God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.

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  (702): It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway. (775): Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ???? (702): God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight. http://tfl.nu/me93
  Replies (14) Good night (372) Bad night (2086)
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  We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.

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  (702): We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend. http://tfl.nu/9xyn
  Replies (13) Good night (602) Bad night (2086) Order T-Shirt
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  did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???

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  (702): did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant??? http://tfl.nu/mp1l
  Replies (53) Good night (7830) Bad night (2059) Order T-Shirt
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  I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless

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  (702): I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless http://tfl.nu/97sl
  Replies (18) Good night (625) Bad night (1997) Order T-Shirt
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  So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.

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  (702): So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers. http://tfl.nu/tlh4
  Replies (11) Good night (505) Bad night (1902) Order T-Shirt
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  I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore

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  (702): I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore http://tfl.nu/l7gt
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  Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons

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  Does that work!! Please say yes

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  (702): Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons (702): Does that work!! Please say yes http://tfl.nu/ujrg
  Replies (24) Good night (527) Bad night (1820)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You're the end to all my bad dreams.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?

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  (775): You're the end to all my bad dreams. (702): Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again? http://tfl.nu/buiw
  Replies (6) Good night (575) Bad night (1792)
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  you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes

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  (702): you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes http://tfl.nu/hymj
  Replies (8) Good night (397) Bad night (1684) Order T-Shirt
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  i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing

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  (702): i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing http://tfl.nu/wbpb
  Replies (6) Good night (685) Bad night (1664) Order T-Shirt
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  He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.

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  (702): He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out. http://tfl.nu/lsxk
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  What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs

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  (702): What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs http://tfl.nu/q2ol
  Replies (15) Good night (3481) Bad night (1393) Order T-Shirt
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  Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  Yeah, but four times?

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  (702): Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it. (1-702): Yeah, but four times? http://tfl.nu/x8r7
  Replies (30) Good night (6470) Bad night (1297) Order T-Shirt
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  is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?

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  (702): is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable? http://tfl.nu/ood9
  Replies (23) Good night (3535) Bad night (1259) Order T-Shirt