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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
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