There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
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This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
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It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that