In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.