IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.