He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.