some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming