He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
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Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
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I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.