I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"