Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Maryland (410)

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  I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?

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  Nowhere

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  (410): I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life? (301): Nowhere http://tfl.nu/ayl7
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  Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.

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  (410): Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe. http://tfl.nu/rdse
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  it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral

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  (410): it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral http://tfl.nu/q6za
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  I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore

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  (410): I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore http://tfl.nu/l2tw
  Replies (33) Good night (623) Bad night (2085) Order T-Shirt
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  I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much

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  (410): I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much http://tfl.nu/fm3j
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  You threw up with your ski mask on still.

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  (410): You threw up with your ski mask on still. http://tfl.nu/wyp5
  Replies (8) Good night (402) Bad night (2026) Order T-Shirt
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  cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me

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  (410): cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me http://tfl.nu/jebo
  Replies (11) Good night (336) Bad night (1877) Order T-Shirt
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  i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail

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  (410): i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail http://tfl.nu/uma4
  Replies (9) Good night (778) Bad night (1854) Order T-Shirt
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  Wheres my essay?

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  You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?

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  (410): Wheres my essay? (415): You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway? http://tfl.nu/m6g1
  Replies (8) Good night (676) Bad night (1823)
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  I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.

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  (410): I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me. http://tfl.nu/7cby
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  youre so sexy i want your bod

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  dude, did you turn gay?

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  heather?

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  this is jacob

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  (949): youre so sexy i want your bod (410): dude, did you turn gay? (949): heather? (410): this is jacob http://tfl.nu/gn2b
  Replies (14) Good night (672) Bad night (1755)
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  She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with

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  (410): She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with http://tfl.nu/po8c
  Replies (23) Good night (6701) Bad night (1749) Order T-Shirt
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  Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy

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  (410): Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy http://tfl.nu/8k4u
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  can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd

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  wasted?

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  im pocohantasssss

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  (410): can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd (443): wasted? (410): im pocohantasssss http://tfl.nu/gql6
  Replies (109) Good night (42214) Bad night (1636)
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  i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.

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  (410): i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow. http://tfl.nu/v829
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