The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
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He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
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he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok