We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize