being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him