he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
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You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
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She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.