And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented