Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i now understand why vodka
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve