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it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
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