Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (323)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you? http://tfl.nu/qb3x
  Replies (26) Good night (689) Bad night (2267)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."

  (323): View more from California

  If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity." (323): If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing. http://tfl.nu/54s4
  Replies (8) Good night (2701) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel http://tfl.nu/ythu
  Replies (5) Good night (1305) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain. http://tfl.nu/r1vy
  Replies (8) Good night (2726) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end! http://tfl.nu/gq8b
  Replies (2) Good night (1048) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent http://tfl.nu/xdm3
  Replies (12) Good night (2692) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  How did I end up in the pool?!

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Welcome to ASU

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): How did I end up in the pool?! (480): Welcome to ASU http://tfl.nu/zi7q
  Replies (8) Good night (2318) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/6rmt
  Replies (8) Good night (1350) Bad night (1054) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'? http://tfl.nu/kmm3
  Replies (10) Good night (2191) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion. http://tfl.nu/elx2
  Replies (2) Good night (1269) Bad night (552) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it. http://tfl.nu/2u3k
  Replies (9) Good night (2647) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated http://tfl.nu/z16t
  Replies (7) Good night (3002) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back? http://tfl.nu/2ror
  Replies (2) Good night (2090) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:( http://tfl.nu/6gfx
  Replies (3) Good night (660) Bad night (2576) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me http://tfl.nu/3sp3
  Replies (13) Good night (4265) Bad night (1575) Order T-Shirt