He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dating After Heartbreak
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Put some vodka in it
put some vodka in it
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...