At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....