If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.