Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
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Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
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So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".