An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.