I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...