I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.