If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.