Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
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All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.