Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (832)

Last Night in Houston, Texas (832)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him. http://tfl.nu/n4d8

Replies (13) Good night (1191) Bad night (230) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember http://tfl.nu/t07z

Replies (3) Good night (630) Bad night (575)
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL. http://tfl.nu/25yr

Replies (3) Good night (1572) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby. http://tfl.nu/1j27

Replies (8) Good night (646) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal? http://tfl.nu/mk58

Replies (7) Good night (877) Bad night (292) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me. http://tfl.nu/6e6y

Replies (2) Good night (384) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Get you some cowboy.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): Get you some cowboy. (832): In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself. http://tfl.nu/cgrb

Replies (6) Good night (844) Bad night (275)
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man http://tfl.nu/dtih

Replies (7) Good night (453) Bad night (995) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right. http://tfl.nu/ngre

Replies (9) Good night (3085) Bad night (365)
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start. http://tfl.nu/gyl1

Replies (8) Good night (469) Bad night (1034) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(281): View more from Texas

She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

...

(281): View more from Texas

Exactly.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(281): She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick... (832): ... (281): Exactly. http://tfl.nu/w9ox

Replies (9) Good night (576) Bad night (1468)
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Wait does semen show up on blood tests?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): Wait does semen show up on blood tests? http://tfl.nu/pugn

Replies (25) Good night (396) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze

(713): View more from Texas

My liver has a boner

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze (713): My liver has a boner http://tfl.nu/y8xq

Replies (3) Good night (1189) Bad night (354)
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am http://tfl.nu/1emj

Replies (7) Good night (663) Bad night (1342) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(832): god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink. http://tfl.nu/rrfd

Replies (2) Good night (1038) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in Houston, Texas (832)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: