I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.