Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Follow @tfln