it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I need to stop coming to work sober
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
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Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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