You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle