Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.