Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.