It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.