i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
honey bunches of taint.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean