Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Follow @tfln