Texts From Last Night

Last Night in North Dakota (701)

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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon

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  (701): Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon http://tfl.nu/mzrc
  Replies (4) Good night (2059) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"

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  (701): and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies" http://tfl.nu/t57n
  Replies (4) Good night (2014) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
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  Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.

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  The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.

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  (701): Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend. (701): The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer. http://tfl.nu/9cgs
  Replies (7) Good night (2004) Bad night (828)
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  Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"

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  (701): Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro" http://tfl.nu/ltp9
  Replies (3) Good night (2000) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
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  Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?

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  (701): Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around? http://tfl.nu/ufh1
  Replies (9) Good night (1943) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!

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  (701): He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time! http://tfl.nu/6xbr
  Replies (27) Good night (1933) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.

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  (701): He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin. http://tfl.nu/a8q9
  Replies (4) Good night (1922) Bad night (496) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!

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  (612): Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend? (701): In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing! http://tfl.nu/fqw2
  Replies (11) Good night (1875) Bad night (309)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic

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  (701): I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic http://tfl.nu/cgi2
  Replies (3) Good night (1862) Bad night (1319)
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  From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.

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  (701): From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend. http://tfl.nu/i20e
  Replies (6) Good night (1768) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
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  She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.

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  (701): She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv. http://tfl.nu/rbou
  Replies (8) Good night (1747) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
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  Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.

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  (701): Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore. http://tfl.nu/9hf8
  Replies (5) Good night (1746) Bad night (491)
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  Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.

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  (701): Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual. http://tfl.nu/sj3h
  Replies (6) Good night (1673) Bad night (1200) Order T-Shirt
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  He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment

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  (701): He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment http://tfl.nu/7mc6
  Replies (3) Good night (1671) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt
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  Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.

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  (701): Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open. http://tfl.nu/k8hm
  Replies (9) Good night (1664) Bad night (131)