Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (701)

Last Night in North Dakota (701)

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Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!

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(701): Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice! http://tfl.nu/fa1l

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you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?

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(701): you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends? http://tfl.nu/lhmx

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Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.

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(701): Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man. http://tfl.nu/tr3t

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Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.

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(701): Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck. http://tfl.nu/exx8

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First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.

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(701): First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to. http://tfl.nu/orps

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Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?

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(701): Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it? http://tfl.nu/2zni

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That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.

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(701): That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley. http://tfl.nu/h7e5

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in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.

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(701): in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head. http://tfl.nu/rwbn

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nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information

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walking out with herpes. that would be worse

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(701): nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information (1-701): walking out with herpes. that would be worse http://tfl.nu/edgz

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Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic

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(701): Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic http://tfl.nu/rfl3

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Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.

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(701): Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard. http://tfl.nu/ybia

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Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...

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(701): Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab... http://tfl.nu/8q0e

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Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.

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(701): Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem. http://tfl.nu/jbpn

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She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.

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(701): She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere. http://tfl.nu/am2w

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Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.

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(701): Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring. http://tfl.nu/lp7n

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Last Night in North Dakota (701)

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