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Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
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