Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i need some magic done to my vagina
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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