whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it