I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
pray to the hookup gods
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i need some magic done to my vagina
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.