I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
pray to the hookup gods
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i need some magic done to my vagina
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.