There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
7 Great Movies – with Drinking Games that Make them Even Better
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
15 Things You’ll Miss About College – and 7 Things You Definitely Won’t
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There is a Children’s Book About Donald Trump’s Hair, and it’s as Weird as You’d Expect It to Be