Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (609)

Last Night in New Jersey (609)

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and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.

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(609): and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier. http://tfl.nu/u9m6

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I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...

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What do herpes have to do with anything?

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(609): I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico... (718): What do herpes have to do with anything? http://tfl.nu/w2v0

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I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..

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(609): I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex.. http://tfl.nu/qolf

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Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.

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(609): Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people. http://tfl.nu/gli6

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Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key

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(609): Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key http://tfl.nu/pj3h

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get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.

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(609): get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots. http://tfl.nu/a2ct

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She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.

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(609): She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her. http://tfl.nu/z51y

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She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.

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(609): She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew. http://tfl.nu/vnvf

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Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy

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(609): Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy http://tfl.nu/d1ob

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My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.

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Why?

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Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."

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(609): My professor just gave us a margarita recipe. (1-609): Why? (609): Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life." http://tfl.nu/ong0

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He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.

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(609): He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place. http://tfl.nu/k1hb

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Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.

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(609): Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams. http://tfl.nu/g3rk

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He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.

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(609): He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies. http://tfl.nu/y08j

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why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?

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(609): why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs? http://tfl.nu/z5vs

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it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.

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(609): it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating. http://tfl.nu/22js

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Last Night in New Jersey (609)

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