They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.