Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Maryland (410)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station. http://tfl.nu/qovz
  Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails (1-410): I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling" (1-410): The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself" http://tfl.nu/79pq
  Replies (3) Good night (1159) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI. (1-410): Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return. http://tfl.nu/zi1i
  Replies (10) Good night (745) Bad night (1783)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex. http://tfl.nu/2gjc
  Replies (7) Good night (1061) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS http://tfl.nu/c2np
  Replies (10) Good night (877) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea. http://tfl.nu/1cgp
  Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager. http://tfl.nu/3fqc
  Replies (8) Good night (561) Bad night (1733) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes. http://tfl.nu/1wpu
  Replies (12) Good night (983) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark. http://tfl.nu/6rlc
  Replies (1) Good night (739) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique. http://tfl.nu/znxz
  Replies (1) Good night (1178) Bad night (328) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii. http://tfl.nu/nmvv
  Replies (6) Good night (2023) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN http://tfl.nu/tdjl
  Replies (10) Good night (1811) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success! http://tfl.nu/k1zi
  Replies (10) Good night (1603) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful. http://tfl.nu/rt55
  Replies (5) Good night (396) Bad night (1676) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week. http://tfl.nu/e9o5
  Replies (1) Good night (781) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt