She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize