She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.