You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.