Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?