"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom