Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?