okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.