Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (210)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.

  (210): View more from Texas

  i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass" (570): hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge. (210): i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you. http://tfl.nu/8941
  Replies (23) Good night (5464) Bad night (1636)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great http://tfl.nu/uyht
  Replies (10) Good night (2753) Bad night (1624) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl. http://tfl.nu/ha6v
  Replies (6) Good night (680) Bad night (1595) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened. http://tfl.nu/7jhi
  Replies (14) Good night (3190) Bad night (1594) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues http://tfl.nu/3lxf
  Replies (9) Good night (655) Bad night (1531) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation http://tfl.nu/369m
  Replies (13) Good night (4738) Bad night (1488) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti... http://tfl.nu/mzxu
  Replies (3) Good night (704) Bad night (1478) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird http://tfl.nu/vuhd
  Replies (11) Good night (6042) Bad night (1420) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  You know you think of me naked too

  (210): View more from Texas

  Not since I found Jesus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): You know you think of me naked too (210): Not since I found Jesus http://tfl.nu/jext
  Replies (14) Good night (637) Bad night (1374)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after. http://tfl.nu/tury
  Replies (3) Good night (806) Bad night (1346) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons." http://tfl.nu/jfl4
  Replies (10) Good night (5140) Bad night (1336) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  I love milkshakes.

  (210): View more from Texas

  Not the point.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat. (1-210): I love milkshakes. (210): Not the point. http://tfl.nu/tb5t
  Replies (19) Good night (5146) Bad night (1273)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry http://tfl.nu/jusc
  Replies (6) Good night (627) Bad night (1217) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked http://tfl.nu/pl9e
  Replies (10) Good night (3067) Bad night (1187) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night. http://tfl.nu/m0j2
  Replies (61) Good night (3041) Bad night (1159) Order T-Shirt