I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
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I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
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My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up