Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.