Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (210)

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  (210): View more from Texas

  She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.

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  (210): She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas. http://tfl.nu/4atb
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  Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight

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  (210): Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight http://tfl.nu/kopz
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  Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously

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  (210): Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously http://tfl.nu/22yg
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  You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...

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  (210): You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink... http://tfl.nu/o571
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  I just want to hang out with her.

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  You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.

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  (210): I just want to hang out with her. (916): You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you. http://tfl.nu/9qvp
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  no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.

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  (210): no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here. http://tfl.nu/1kwe
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  he referred to my room as the tit cave...

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  (210): he referred to my room as the tit cave... http://tfl.nu/3oen
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  she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice

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  (210): she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice http://tfl.nu/lxs5
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  so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....

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  oh shit that had to have been awkward

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  i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for

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  (210): so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it..... (512): oh shit that had to have been awkward (210): i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for http://tfl.nu/r8iv
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  I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on

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  (210): I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on http://tfl.nu/6saa
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  cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens

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  (210): cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens http://tfl.nu/njf7
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  This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".

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  (210): This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic". http://tfl.nu/3wpo
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  I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.

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  (210): I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/a1h2
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  i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.

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  (210): i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home. http://tfl.nu/eggw
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  That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.

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  It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?

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  Is your card paying for my plan b?

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  (512): That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender. (210): It was my card, so what do you care that you lost? (512): Is your card paying for my plan b? http://tfl.nu/703j
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